Ok, so in my quest to find my ‘somebody’ again (which was actually quite brief – I really am most efficient), I have found myself a job, which is really quite exciting not just for me, but for the family as a whole.
My boys are excited because they have been wanting to go to the after school club for ages. My husband is excited as not only will I be bringing in some pennies, I may have actually have something a bit more interesting to say. (He has had more than enough evenings when he has come home to my analysis of prices of groceries between supermarkets. I like to take a cucumber or chicken breasts as my benchmark for price comparisons between the major supermarkets, and as we spend an absolute fortune on food, which will only increase as my boys start having a loaf of bread, half a box of shreddies and 2 yogurts for breakfast each, I have in recent months taken it upon myself to reduce the bill. Great, but maybe my analysis and presentation of this was maybe taking it a bit far… hence why I need to go back to work).
And my parents are excited about this as they will be spending more time with their grandsons… So for now, it does seem like a win/win situation (is it ok to use that phrase?)
So anyway, as I say, I have a job. And I am proud to say I will be practising my accountancy and audit skills again. At tea time on the day of an interview, my eldest remembered what I had been doing that day ‘Oh how did your interview go Mummy?’. ‘Oh thank you for remembering, son, it went very well, and in fact Mummy has a job’. Cue inter-son discussions (arguments) on which days they can go to the after school club depending on which friends go on which days. Then back to me. ‘That’s good Mummy. What job will you be doing?’. ‘Well, I am an accountant son, looking at numbers ’. ‘Oh. Could you be a policeman instead?’. ‘No. Just get on and eat your tea’.
And looking at my boys sitting there and eating their tea, in the kitchen, having a great time, (because with that many children at a meal, every meal time is pretty much like a party) I started to think would I get this when I am back at work. Are there any similarities between being sat around this table in a feeding frenzy, or waiting in the kitchen for pudding requests, to sitting around a table with colleagues with my work hat on, or meeting with clients.
And luckily I don’t think I have found any.
- People will turn up to a meeting or presentation when it is due to start. I will not have to shout around the office, rounding them up, battling with ‘When I have finished this level’….
- I will not have to ask people to sit properly on their chairs. They will sit in a ‘normal chair seated position’, and not lean back, forever banging the chairs on the wall and messing up the paintwork.
- When food is placed down (such as biscuits), there will not be a scrap for the best ones, often involving mounting the table, and allocating out the biscuits completely until everyone has an equal number.
- There will not be tears or a fuss over the broken biscuit
- People will stir their tea QUIETLY, and not bang the spoon on the tea cup or saucer, just to see what noise it makes, look at me whilst doing it to wait for me to ‘POP’, or not realise they are doing it
- I will not have to ask everyone if they have washed their hands, and follow this up with a sniff of the hands to check they smell of soap if I suspect lying.
- If someone needs to go to the toilet, they will just get up a go at a suitable moment, not telling me they are off for a ‘poo poo’. And I won’t get the ‘Can you help me wipe my bottom’ call 2 minutes later.
- There will be no ‘bodily wind excretion’ noises (i.e. no burps or trumps), resulting in sniggers and a ten minute discussion on how I don’t like the use of certain words (when I was little, the ‘f-word’ was considered rude, but thanks to Despicable Me, it is now considered appropriate, and I have just lost the battle with that one).
- There will be no teasing or winding up about latest love interests.
- People will not speak if someone else is speaking, and will wait for an appropriate break to ask a question.
- They will not all get the giggles, which they just can’t stop, and I won’t have to send anyone out and not let them back in until they can behave.
- If someone disagrees with something another attendee is saying, it will either be left unsaid, or resolved by discussion, not by getting up off a chair and giving the person a swift slap.
- At the end, I will not have to tidy away, and get the dustbuster out to hoover up the crumbs (in fact, there won’t be any crumbs).
- People will get up at the end of the meeting, and thank me for my efforts. I will not have to call them back, and ask them if they have something to say.
Doesn’t that sound wonderful. I just hope I remember that I am not in the kitchen, and in fact in a meeting room…no rolling of the eyes if someone says something inappropriate, no muttering under my breath if someone asks me for something……