It’s ok to change your mind

imageThroughout my life I have changed my mind on so many different things. It drives my husband crazy. Just as I find it equally irritating (well, more probably) when he changes his.

I went through stage of having short hair, then decided I preferred it longer, so I changed my mind (good job too as when recently watching some video footage, husband said ‘Look at Mummy’s silly hair, boys’, to which they all roared with laughter….cheers then boys).

I used to want a dog, but after changing nappies and wiping bottoms god knows how many times over the years, the last thing I want to do is pick up dog dirt. So I have changed my mind.

I used to always shop at Sainsburys, saying I would never go to Tesco because our local one was not very nice, and the trolleys ALWAYS had wonky wheels. But when I realised that some things were cheaper there, and I was now shopping for a family of 6, I changed my mind.

I WILL potty train all 3 boys at once, but when I realised it was like having a litter of puppies and we had no idea of who had done that wee over there, and they had even less of an idea, I changed my mind (very quickly).

I always said the boys could never play with their tablets in their bedrooms, so I could always have a look over their shoulder at what they were looking at, but upon realising that sometimes they (and me) just need their own space, I changed my mind.

I always think at Christmas and Easter that I won’t buy so much chocolate for my boys  but every year I think, well, they are only children once, and I change my mind.

I was a vegetarian for 11 years, after at the age of 14 seeing a documentary on how certain animals were slaughtered, but then after a few drinks at the age of 25, just gave in to a Chicken Tikka Masala.

 

So if I think it is acceptable to change my mind on those things, why do I need to beat myself up when I change my mind about other things.

 

I AM going to feed my first born until weaning. But I didn’t, I stopped earlier because I found it easier to wean whilst having a set bottle routine, so I changed my mind.

I am going to express milk for my 3 babies for 3 months, because I fed my first born for 18 weeks, so it is only fair, but actually it became too time consuming with a toddler to entertain as well, so I changed my mind.

When my boys started 2’s playgroup, I told myself they would each have a morning on their own at home with me, so we could have some time one-on-one, but then when realising that actually I wanted that time as just ‘one’, I changed my mind.

I will not let my children have the TV on at mealtimes. But when feeding meals to 4 children under 3, it takes the distractions away from hitting each other, and gives me more time to sort things in the kitchen, so I changed my mind. (Now at the age of 8 and 6 I am practically begging them to watch TV at meal times so they don’t talk to each other as it leads to teasing and fighting).

I am never going back to work, because I want to be there for my boys after school and in school holidays, but now actually, if you don’t mind boys, I have changed my mind.

I can’t imagine going on a girls holiday again, putting myself at risk on a flight when I don’t need to go, as I am a mother of 4 after all, but actually, I have changed my mind (and sometimes I even think that I can’t get on that plane fast enough).

So why is it that I beat myself up when I change my mind about some things, but don’t when I change my mind about others. Surely it is my right to change my mind about anything?

Well, because those things I beat myself up about when I change my mind is because I have set myself a rule, that at a time I thought was very important, but over time, that changes and a situation changes.  And I have to accept that, and that it is ok to change my mind.

There is always a reason behind why I have changed my mind. And that for as long as I can remember, I have never once regretted changing my mind. Ok maybe I have when it comes to a bet on a horse, or a Strictly or X-factor contestant, but when it has come to something REALLY important, I can’t think of a situation when I wish I hadn’t changed my mind. So I need to trust my judgement and that my reasoning is usually spot on.  So that is ok surely.

(Oh but I never changed my mind on those mince pies)

 

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